List of Random Stuff I'd Like to Purchase

L'Occitaine Lavender Bath Fizz $32 (Done!)

The Laundress Delicate and Wool/Cashmere Detergents $19 ea.

UO cropped white sweater $49

UO Black Mini Skirt $38

UO Ivory Ruffle Shirt $38

Patterned Tights

Some nice, super thin v-neck shirts in black, cream, white, and grey

Clinique Mild Clarifying Lotion $11.50

Olay Regenerist Eye Lifting Serum $18.99

A Cute Teapot and Tea Cups

Ikea Food Tray for Breakfast in Bed

William Sonoma Baking Book

Holga Filters and Lenses and Flash

French Coffee Press

White Bamboo Sheets

New White Duvet

Fig Scented Candles for Living Room

Flowers for Living Room

Lorina French Lemonade Bottle

#1

My name is Marika Chelsea Andrews. I'm 21. I love desserts, my boyfriend, busy cities, and the rain. Not in that order. I'm a student and have been for far too long and will continue to be for more time even. I'm still not sure if I can be so impractical as to major in photography, like I'd like to. Partly, i think I'll never have enough skill or talent. I'm always broke and will be even more broke now that the government is taking money from my boyfriend for student loans. My life is rather boring, yet extremely complicated and busy. I hate that I'm so insecure and jealous and untrusting. I hate that I fear everything and obsess constantly. I hate that I am always negative and can never just be. I hate my anxiety and weakness. I love many things. I like photography and I like poetry, and I like feeling together, which I rarely do.

Just Because

Figured I might try doing these. Maybe it'll make me feel more clear headed or better or something... maybe.

Challenge #1

Day 01 - Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 – A moment, in great detail
Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 – What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 – This week, in great detail
Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 – This month, in great detail
Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 – A first, in great detail
Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail

Challenge #2

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

;

Before Summer Rain

Suddenly, from all the green around you,
something-you don't know what-has disappeared;
you feel it creeping closer to the window,
in total silence. From the nearby wood
you hear the urgent whistling of a plover,
reminding you of someone's Saint Jerome:
so much solitude and passion come
from that one voice, whose fierce request the downpour
will grant. The walls, with their ancient portraits, glide
away from us, cautiously, as though
they weren't supposed to hear what we are saying.
And reflected on the faded tapestries now;
the chill, uncertain sunlight of those long
childhood hours when you were so afraid.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Busy Busy!

Editing a million photos today of the baby shower I did a few weeks ago. Sigh. So much tedious work. Maybe I'll post some of my favorites in a bit. Oh how I wish I was lounging by the water in Provence, buying a bouquet of fresh lavender and making some bread. Hehe... Still waiting for a donation to my "Move to France" fund.

<3

Lovely Photos

The Summer of Mika!

So, it's official -- I'm a mess. As peppy pipsqueak, Christian Siriano might say, I'm a "hot tranny mess." Yes, really. So, you (and I) may ask, "Well, what are you going to do to fix your messy self???" I'm still working on it, but I figured I would share my rough, rough, super-rough draft of ideas. So without further ado, I present to you, the first, initial draft of The Summer of Mika (Plan)! Aww, do I hear clapping? *Blushes* (Ok, I'm going crazy...)

Summer of Mika Plan

*Walking in the mornings 4x+ per week at least 30 mins
*Yoga at least 4x per week for at least 30 mins
*Eat more whole foods
*Learn to meditate
*Cook at least 2 meals per week
*Eat meals at the counter with my boyfriend -- try to keep tv off
*Play on the Wii which cost tons of money 3x per week
*Read at least 3 news articles per day
*Save at least $20.00 per paycheck
*Have sex with my boyfriend at least 3x per week!
*Take 3 or more photos every day
*Write in blog daily -- even if it's just three sentences
*Edit Europe and wedding photos
*Make Europe photo book
*Try a modeling job
*Learn more about music
*Read and finish at least 1 book per month
*Write my pen pal a letter a week
*Get vintage clothes tailored
*Learn more about digital photography, film photography, flash, and photoshop
*Apply for scholarships
*See friends more often
*Worry less
*Laugh more
*Love openly and endlessly
*...More to come soon!

I'm currently obsessed with vintage dresses and "White Russians" with cherries on top, and have the money for neither.

Also, I wrote a long, thoughtful post about my blogging history and my computer froze and all my beautiful writing was deleted. It wasn't very witty anyway, and I would prefer that I appear always witty and amazing. Hah... if only.

So here it is! My first post. Ta Da! Now I must stop watching "Weeds" from my friend's netflix and go take a shower and try to be positive about going to work and not getting any.

Kisses!

My Blogging Past and An Introduction of Sorts

It often seems that every time there is a new change in my life, I start a new journal or blog. When I was in middle school, I started a journal to share with my best friend who I was somewhat in love with. I used it to keep in touch with him and other friends who I was forced to leave behind when I left for another school. The next year, I started a new journal in which I wrote about how tormented I was as a fourteen year old with social anxiety. I continued that journal into the next year where I first wrote about how tormented I was over still loving my best friend.That journal was close to abandoned the year after that since for the first time, I was in a relationship and was working. The summer after that year, I was finally officially with the man who I had been in love with for many years, and began college -- so naturally I needed a new journal. Three years later, here I am. Still in college, still with the man I love so much, and deciding that perhaps this journal will be a bit different. So, here we go! This journal will be my place for ideas, inspiration, crazy theories, stories, photos, love poems, and everything else I deem important. With that I say "hello," and your charmed, I'm sure.